‘We are not lonely’: The online shift that makes solitude aspirational
On a quiet Friday evening, a young woman in Toronto returns to her apartment, prepares a frozen pizza, lights a candle, and spends the night alone on her sofa. Her evening routine may seem unremarkable, but a video documenting it has drawn over seven million views on TikTok.
The woman is Lana Isa, a software sales manager in her 20s. Her content, which she posts to nearly 400,000 followers across TikTok and Instagram, includes late-night fast food runs, reading sessions by a lake, and even a tale of being locked out of her apartment. A recurring tagline on her videos reads: “POV you’re a childfree and single girl that has no friends and lives alone so this is how you spend your Friday night.”
Isa is part of a growing, though still niche, online movement where creators — many of them women — are sharing their daily rituals of living alone. Their content celebrates solitude, peace, and self-care, offering a contrast to the often loud and social nature of social media.
For Isa, describing her “no friends” reality is not a cry for help but an honest reflection of her life. She presents her solitary routines as a deliberate choice, one that brings her comfort and stability.
The trend arrives amid broader social changes. Across the world, the number of people living alone has been rising for decades, driven by urbanisation, economic independence, shifting marital norms, and the growing acceptance of individual lifestyles.
What distinguishes this new wave of content is its tone. Rather than focusing on the difficulties of isolation, it frames solitude as a peaceful and even aspirational way of life. The carefully shot videos often feature minimalistic interiors, natural light, and calm activities like reading, cooking, or simply watching the rain.
However, researchers and mental health experts caution that the line between chosen solitude and unwanted loneliness can sometimes blur. While many people thrive living alone, others may experience feelings of isolation. The same content that inspires one person could conceal the struggles of another.
The debate over the meaning of solitude is not new, but the internet has given it a new platform. For every video celebrating solo living, there are discussions about the mental health implications of social disconnection. Some argue that these videos romanticise a life without friends, while others see them as a refreshing counterpoint to the pressure to constantly socialise.
Lana Isa’s content does not offer solutions or prescriptions; it simply documents her life as it is. In an era when social media often presents curated versions of togetherness, her portrayal of quiet, solitary rituals stands out for its candour.
Whether this signals a lasting shift in how society views living alone remains to be seen. But for now, a growing number of people find meaning in the message that solitude does not necessarily equal loneliness. As Isa’s videos show, a Friday night spent in one’s own company can be just as fulfilling as one spent in a crowd.
