Refusing remarriage: Vidarbha's farm widows build independent lives

In Maharashtra's drought-prone Vidarbha region, widow remarriage is slowly gaining acceptance, but a growing number of widows are choosing to stay single, prioritising financial independence and personal autonomy over the security that remarriage might offer.

Neelima Renge, now in her late 30s, lives in a two-room mud house in Zadgaon village, Yavatmal district. Widowed at 26 when her husband died by suicide, she decided then that she would not remarry. More than a decade later, she stands by that choice. "That decision was correct," she says, gesturing at the modest home she built on her own.

Married in 2011, Neelima could not complete her schooling. Her husband, a farmer, struggled with alcoholism. Despite her efforts to persuade him to quit, he died by suicide barely three years into the marriage, leaving her pregnant with their son.

In the years that followed, her parents and relatives brought marriage proposals, and several suitors approached her directly or indirectly. She declined them all.

Kishor Tiwari, leader of the Vidarbha Jan Andolan Samiti, says western Vidarbha recorded 30,969 farmer suicides between 2001 and 2024 across Akola, Amravati, Buldhana, Washim and Yavatmal districts. Yavatmal alone saw 102 farmer suicides between January and May 2025, he adds.

When young women are widowed, their parents often push them to remarry for financial security and social acceptance. Social activists sometimes act as matchmakers, connecting widows with prospective grooms. In Buldhana, a widow and an unmarried farmer fell in love but sought the help of a non-profit to formalise their union because they could not announce their intention openly.

Yet many widows, like Neelima, are not convinced that a man who treats her as an equal partner exists. "Whether a man has been married before matters far less than whether he treats her as an equal," Neelima says, explaining why she has remained single.

The region also has many never-married farmers who struggle to find brides because of unstable incomes. A network of matchmakers helps them search for brides in the underdeveloped areas of Vidarbha and Marathwada. These men initially hesitate to consider widows, but after repeated rejections from unmarried women, many accept the idea.

Widows, however, often turn down proposals from these farmers, most of whom are over 40. They are unwilling to give up their autonomy or risk reliving the trauma of a previous marriage.

Over the past seven to eight years, the issue has grown into a social crisis, gaining political visibility during the 2024 Lok Sabha election, when farmers and political parties called for government intervention.

Neelima's in-laws declared that she had no claim to the family land and was no longer part of the family. They resented her choice to remain on the land and raise her son independently. Despite this hostility, she worked the fields herself and built a life on her own terms.

Her story reflects a broader trend among Vidarbha's farm widows, who are increasingly refusing remarriage and choosing instead to shape their own futures.